How do I know if he stays with me out of convenience or whether it is really love?

It sounds like he is a nice guy. Sounds like he may feel a bit bad that he isn't more financially secure and that he may feel you deserve the best and he may feel like he isn't able to give that to you- hence, the threats to leave "so you can have better" ya know? I understand him not wanting to get married until he has more money-it goes hand in hand with his underlining value of himself/ his worthiness of you. He truly sounds like a typical guy; we women always want romance and they just get comfortable and it's not coming natural past the infatuation stage of the relationship. It probably deeply bothers him that you have more money cuz he's the "man" and men want to have the pride of being the provider for their loved ones. If you want more romance, then instead of hounding him for it, just make it happen. Spoil him a bit, draw him a bubble bath after work, give him a mage, tell him sweet nothings..ya know, do what you would like him to do for you. If he still doesn't want nooky after a few times of you trying to entice him, then I would ask him what's wrong (maybe an embarresing medical condition that a little blue pill will fix?). And for goodness sake, don't nag him about marriage-let it be his idea, he already knows you want it, let him realize he wants it. Maybe you could treat yourself to a day at the spa/salon/mall and give him something new to compliment (HELLO Victoria's secret heehee that'll always get ya a compliment girlfriend!)